i'm working at The Decider NY right now so if you see previews for NY Tropical or A Place To Bury Strangers in this coming issue I wrote it. I also got to write a bitchin write up for the En Vogue reunion, so fuck yes on that one.

on street carnage

http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/magic-the-gathering/

http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/magic-the-gathering/
http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/magic-the-gathering/


http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/magic-the-gathering/

okay from now on

rather than post all my FWB shit here's the link to my archive:
http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/david.html

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http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/david.html


http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/david.html


http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/david.html



http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/david.html

http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/archives/david.html

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i was just gonna post goofy ass videos on here and stuff but i kinda do that at FWB already so look for ya boy there cuz i'm styling on everyone (i told my mom today i wanna say "styling on" more so i'm starting here)

Punk + Animes? o___O

"Anime and punk? So what do they have in common? A what? Spiky hair?"
*Does another line of blow*
"Alright, fuck it, I'm sold. Hey, Gina! Quit making personal calls and gimme a back massage. We're putting the green light on this Anime punk collection!"
*Goes super-saiyan*

I'm picking this up via Anime News Network and don't you dare ask why I was there.

Six popular seiyū (voice actors or actresses) cover 12 rock and punk songs for Pun-Colle ~voice actresses' legendary punk songs collection, a CD that Avex Entertainment is shipping in Japan on February 25. Among others, Halko Momoi sings Blondie's "Call Me," Yuko Goto sings Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit," and Rie Tanaka sings Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the UK." The Natalie website notes that the collection will appeal to Japanese seiyū fans as well as to overseas otaku.

And, of course, here's a sampler because I am your best friend on this whole internet:




PS:

It's you. You are Peter Bonerz.

Peter Bonerz (left) with Bob Newhart

This is your new vocab word for the day (there's a test on Friday). Your roommate who won't clean the dishes, that guy who cut in front of me at the movies, my mom's new boyfriend, seriously you are not my real dad you are such a Peter Bonerz.

"Douche" is vanilla. "D-bag" is only to be screamed mid-pelvic thrust on the Jersey Shore. "Douchenozzle" is trying too hard, getting all fancy for nothing. "Peter Bonerz," though, comes at you twice in one name and with a rad-as-hell wikipedia article to match, which I will now post here in its entirety with key passages highlighted:

Peter Bonerz (born August 6, 1938 in New Hampshire) is an American actor and director.

Bonerz grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where he attended Marquette University High School, gaining his first theatrical experience with the Prep Players under rigid conditions. At Marquette University he participated in the Marquette University Players under the Rev. John J. Walsh, S.J. After working long and hard, he graduated with a BS degree in 1960, he decided to seek a career in theater, beginning with The Premise, an improv group in New York. After a stint as a draftee in the US Army he joined the Committee, an improv troupe in San Francisco.

He had a number of roles in some solid films, including Medium Cool (1969) and Catch-22 (1970), before landing a leading role as Jerry Robinson, an eccentric orthodontist on The Bob Newhart Show, whose most frequent comic foil was Marcia Wallace as Carol, the sharp-tongued secretary. The show, which began in 1972, ran for six seasons--with ratings among the top 20 in the first three seasons, bringing Bonerz nationwide recognition.

He came on to a busy and successful career as a film and TV director. In one of his later acting roles he played a worthless psychiatrist who almost gets the shaft in Serial (1980). He directed a large number of sitcom episodes for series such as Friends, NewsRadio, Home Improvement, and ALF.

So try using that one next time, "Hey, Peter Bonerz, out of my way I am on important blogger business!"

INT. REPUBLICAN PARTY HEADQUARTERS

The headquarters is located in an underground bunker. The walls
are reinforced steel and there are no windows, but the room
is massive and full of amenities. Carpeting, quiet classical
music, ergonomic chairs. Republican leaders sit at a large,
semi-circular table, Mitch McConnell and John Boehner chat
quietly over a drink.  Michelle Bachmann reads a book to herself. 
Jim DeMint writes on a sheet of paper. Michael Steele paces
up and down the room nervously. A large stylized elephant is
on the wall. Suddenly a black box in the middle of the table
starts beeping and blinking a red light. All conversation
stops.

MICHAEL STEELE
Is that--?

Boehner and McConnell look up quietly at him. 

MICHAEL STEELE
Put him on.

McConnell presses a few buttons on the black box and the
wall opposite the table begins to slide open as Steele walks
to the front of the table and stands facing the opening
wall.  Behind it is a view screen that snaps on to reveal
Harry Reid dressed in a black and silver body-suit.  He is
seated in an egg-shaped silver chair.  Behind him is an
electoral map of the United States with every state except
Utah, Oklahoma, and Alabama colored blue.  He grins
revealing a gold tooth.

MICHAEL STEELE
Reid!  What is it this time?

HARRY REID
Mr. Steele.  How pleasant to be
speaking to you from Majority
Headquarters.  How are things these
days for the Grand Old Party?

MICHAEL STEELE
I don't have time for this, Reid!

HARRY REID
Oh, but you do Mr. Steele. You do. 
And until I call for cloture...we
have all the time...in the world!

Reid cackles maniacally.

MITCH MCCONNELL
He's right, Michael.  We have to
hear him out.

HARRY REID
Do listen to your friend, Steele. 
He knows what he's talking about.

MICHAEL STEELE
Alright Reid, talk.

HARRY REID
As you gentlemen know, there is a
stimulus bill working its way
through the halls of Congress right
now.  One that could save the world's
economy.

MICHAEL STEELE
Get to it, Reid!

HARRY REID
Ahhh, patience Mr. Steele.  I'll
remind you that the stimulus bill
will be coming up for a vote this
week and I will determine whether
it lives or dies!

Reid regains composure.  He produces a sheet of paper from
his pocket.

HARRY REID (CONT'D)
Now our demands:

Ominous strings swell as the list is read.

HARRY REID (CONT'D)
$500 million for flood reduction
projects on the Mississippi River!
$100 million for reducing the
hazard of lead-based paint!

Republicans around the table stare wide-eyed and gaping as Reid
goes on.

HARRY REID (CONT'D)
$400 million for the Centers for
Disease Control to screen and
prevent STD's!

JOHN BOEHNER
Dear God...

HARRY REID
$200 million for public computer
centers at community colleges!

Mitch McConnell weeps quietly.

HARRY REID (CONT'D)
$1.2 billion for "youth
activities," including youth summer job
programs!  $600 million to buy
hybrid vehicles for federal
employees!

Jim DeMint gets up disgustedly and leaves the room.  The Republicans
at the table are in a state of complete shock and fear.  Michael
Steele stands stoically facing the screen as the demands
continue.

HARRY REID (CONT'D)
$1.4 billion for rural waste
disposal programs! $200 million in
funding for the lease of
alternative energy vehicles for use
on military installations!

MICHAEL STEELE
Enough!  You've gone mad, Reid. 
People's lives depend on that
stimulus bill!

HARRY REID
Oh, Michael, how petty.  Surely
some lives can be sacrificed to the
greater good.  And to show you that
I'm serious...

Reid presses a few buttons on a panel on his chair.  There
is a beat and then a quiet hissing noise starts in
Republican HQ.  The Republicans look around nervously. 
Another beat.

MICHAEL STEELE
What's that smell?

HARRY REID
That, Mr. Steele, is pure,
carbon-offset, San Francisco air. 
And if you don't comply, the
stimulus won't be the only thing
that I have gassed in the Senate!

Republicans start breathing heavily, some choking, retching.

MITCH MCCONNELL
Jesus Christ, Reid!  Turn it off,
turn it off!

He begins choking, everyone is coughing and staggering.  Beat. 
Reid presses buttons.  The hissing tapers off.

HARRY REID
You have 48 hours, gentlemen.  Oh,
and Mr. Steele?  Don't try anything
stupid.  We'll be waiting.

Reid tugs on a chain that has been in his left hand.  Nancy
Pelosi dressed in a gold bodysuit is at the other end of the
chain.  She slinks over to Reid and licks the side of his
face.  They both grin at Michael Steele as the view screen
closes.  When it finally shuts, Michael Steele turns to the
rest of the Republicans.

MICHAEL STEELE
Mitch, John, ready the
fillibuster.  I'm going to need all
the time I can get.

JOHN BOEHNER
Michael, you can't be serious. It's
too dangerous.

MICHAEL STEELE
Maybe it is, but I'm not about to
just cut-and-run!  I'm going to
fight them over there, so you don't
have to over here.  I took an oath
when I joined The GOP: "Things
always trickle down."  Well, it's about
time Harry Reid learned what it's
like to have the Republicans
trickling down on you!

Beat.

JOHN BOEHNER
Alright Michael, 48 hours.  And
make sure the liberal media doesn't
hear about this or we're cutting
you loose.

Michael Steele smiles and puts straightens his tie.

MICHAEL STEELE
Welcome to The Republican Party.

He confidently walks over and kisses Michelle Bachmann.

MICHAEL STEELE
Keep my seat warm for me.

He walks out of the room leaving everyone breathless.

END.

Hottest dictator of all time:

Stalin.



Wanna get behind that Iron Curtain.